


Life After You

by mrsreeder



Category: The Thick of It (TV)
Genre: Banter, Comfort, Complicated Relationships, Crying, Established Relationship, Feels, Getting Back Together, M/M, Post-Break Up, Post-Canon, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:00:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29060961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrsreeder/pseuds/mrsreeder
Summary: You and I, right or wrong, there's no other oneAfter this time I spent aloneIt's hard to believe that a man with sight could be so blindThinkin' 'bout the better times, must've been outta my mindSo I'm runnin' back to tell youTwo years have passed since the events of the final episode and Ollie regrets many things. But can he get over his biggest regret in life?
Relationships: Ollie Reeder/Malcolm Tucker
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Life After You

**Author's Note:**

> Well...even though I think the finished thing is pretty cheesy, I also really like it. I had quite a few feels when I wrote it :D I stole the title (and the lyrics quote from the summary) from the song 'Life After You' by Daughtry, because I really like that song and dunno, it sort of fits the theme of the story, I think?

Today was one of those dreadful days where everything seemed to go wrong. A feeling Ollie Reeder got to know all too well in the last two years. He found himself sitting in his office, musing about the current state of things yet again.  
  
What was it again that Malcolm had told him shortly before he had to quit his post for good? That he gave him six months until he was a weeping alcoholic or something like that, among other things? Well, he had to admit there had been some truth to Malcolm's words, because there were times when he definitely regretted becoming Malcolm's successor. He had held out longer than expected, but by now he was starting to get desperate. And he had tried everything he could - he really had. He even had insisted that people should start call him Oliver instead of Ollie, lest people might not take him seriously otherwise. But that had been one of his worse ideas because it hadn't changed a thing about how people viewed him (some people still treated him like an inexperienced youth, while the others kept questioning his character because of the role he had played in Malcolm's downfall), and he himself always wondered whether someone had adressed him or someone else just now.  
  
Well, but by now he definitely had to admit that his best just wasn't enough to ever replace Malcolm. Two years had passed since he had left and still...his shadow seemed to loom over the office every single day.  
  
His thoughts were interrupted when Dan Miller peeked into the room. "I'm off to the shadow cabinet meeting now! Gonna make clear what we need to do to finally hold this government to account. Talk to you later, Oliver!"  
"Yeah, later..."  
  
The current leader of the opposition had taken over the post from Nicola Murray also just two years ago. And while he seemed to be more competent than his predecessor the electorate had apparently never quite warmed to him. The government was clearly leading the polls and the parties' future looked bleaker than ever. Would they stay in the opposition forever? Would Malcolm have had a plan to lead them back into government again?  
That's what Ollie asked himself on an almost daily base by now. What would Malcolm do?  
  
He sighed. Just a few years ago he had always been on the lookout for new opportunities, to actually get forward instead of treading water. So why was he so hung up in the past now?  
  
Anyway, his thoughts going in circles felt like normality by now, and he knew things couldn't stay like that. So he had come to a decision. But there was one thing he most definitely had to do first. Even though it would be one of the most difficult things in his life.  
  
\---  
  
Ollie got out of the cab at the designated address and watched it drive off. Well, now that he had come here, he would have to muster up the courage to get his objective done, he thought. And so he took a deep breath, turned around and walked the few steps to one of the houses in this street.

It took him a huge amount of courage to press the door bell and he already felt like turning on his heels and running away, when the door opened in just that moment...and the familiar figure of Malcolm Tucker stood in front of him.  
Ollie fidgeted uneasily. "Um...hello, Malcolm. So good to see you again..."  
"Well, I sure can't say the same about you! What do you want, you prick?"  
"I, um...I want to talk to you about something. Can I come in?"  
Malcolm hesitated for a few long moments, while he eyed Ollie suspiciously. "Fine, come inside. I haven't got time for you all day, though."  
  
He showed Ollie into the living room and made him sit down on the sofa. After disappearing from the room for a moment he came back with two glasses and a bottle of whisky. "I think I will need a drink or two if I really have listen to whatever you want to tell me."  
He filled both glasses with a few inches of whisky and made himself comfortable on the sofa. Ollie hesitantly took one glass in his hand, but didn't drink anything yet.  
"Alright, so what did you want? Make it quick, don't want to sit here all day."  
Malcolm's attitude didn't help to boost Ollie's confidence, but he steeled himself. "Well, it's...about work. About what you told me before you were gone, to be exact. And everything that happened after that."  
"Out with it, then."  
God, this was even harder than Ollie had expected it to be. Why had Malcolm to be so distant and dismissive? He slowly exhaled before he started to speak.  
"You were right, Malcolm. There, I said it."  
"About what, exactly?"  
"Well...everything you told me two years ago. About the toll the job took on your life and how hard it would be for me to become your successor."  
Malcolm took a sip of whisky. "You aren't telling me anything I didn't know yet, so what do you expect me to do or say now? Do you want me to laugh at you?"  
"I don't, but....that's all you have to say?"  
"No, actually...let me say that I pity you. You were never cut out for the job and I told you how fucking difficult it would be...yet you still didn't want to listen. I imagine your life wasn't all that happy in the last two years."  
Ollie slowly swirled the whisky around in his glass, hesitating to give an answer to Malcolm's claim. After a sigh he straightened himself.  
"No, it really wasn't. There were times when I barely slept a wink at night for weeks. I couldn't even think of anything resembling a private life because the job took all I had."  
"I know. I told you so."  
  
Ollie took off his glasses and tiredly rubbed his eyes. "You know what, Malcolm?" He actually had wanted to just call him Malc, like he used to do in the old days, but he felt with a stab of regret that they clearly weren't that close to each other anymore - so he had quickly corrected himself. "I miss the old days back at DoSAC. Even though everyone at the office was basically incompetent and there was always some trouble going on...it was also sort of fun. And sometimes we were really afraid of you, but we also knew you would sort things out in the worst case."  
"Well, I could've told you that too. Spineless people like you shouldn't take responsibility anyway. What's supposed to keep you up when things get difficult? You're not ruthless enough when it really matters."  
"Yeah, I guess so..." Ollie emptied his glass. "And besides our professional relationship from back then...I'm also talking about things on a more personal level. You know what I mean." He almost couldn't believe it now, sitting next to this oddly distant version of Malcolm, but...they had been an item for quite a few years before that had also ended when Malcolm lost the job. One more thing that was long gone and one more regret on his list. But to his disappointment Malcolm decided to ignore that part entirely and quickly changed the topic again.  
"So, what do you actually want? Do you want my advice? I was out of the loop for two years now, so don't expect me to be of any help. I also don't know whether I would want to help you."  
Ollie exhaled slowly, then he pulled an envelope out of his pocket and placed it on the table, in front of Malcolm.  
"What's that?"  
"That is...my letter of resignation."  
"I see," Malcolm said after a long moment of silence. "You know, you're actually not supposed to give this to me."  
"I know! I know that...I just don't know, but...I wanted to talk to you before actually making it official."  
Malcolm's brow furrowed. "In case you want me to tell you that you shouldn't quit because you are doing an awesome job you're out of luck. I won't do that. I don't even care or know whether you are doing a good job or not - I just didn't want to think about anything related to politics anymore. I poured all of my energy, my whole life into my job and when everything was over I stopped caring."  
"No, I didn't want you to tell me that. I really can't say why, but...I just wanted you to be the first person to talk to about this."  
"Still feeling some attachment?" Malcolm said in a half joking tone, but Ollie slowly nodded.  
"...yes. You are right about that too."  
"Really? Even if you were the one who threw everything away?"  
"I know I did, and that was clearly the worst decision of my life."  
"Worse than taking over my position?"  
"Yeah, even worse than that. I'm sure I could have done a better job, if only..."  
"If only you would've had some more guts and tried to sort things out with me instead of just running away, you mean?"  
Ollie flinched. "You are still brutally honest, Malcolm. But that was one of the things I always admired about you. I could never do that either...but anyway." He looked at Malcolm. "Yes, you are right. I was such a fool, but I expected you to be furious at me because I basically betrayed your trust. But...it seemed like the right thing to do at that time."  
  
"Right, and I really was. Furious, I mean. Well, I felt mostly empty, but I was also angry." Here he took another big sip from his glass. "You are still the same dumb fucker you always were. Know what? I should just kick you out of here. Why should I even talk to you, looking at what you did? No, don't," he cut of Ollie's interjection, "just stop it and let me finish. I should just kick you out. I guess I'm getting old though, or whatever other fucking reason there could be for it, but...I won't do it. You know why?"  
"I really don't, but..." Ollie looked at him, clearly feeling a sliver of hope.  
"Well, the fucking attachment is at fault again. You know, over the last two years I tried my hardest to get you out of my mind. I tried to hate you...and failed."  
"So...do you still...um..."  
"What, love you? I can't say. Maybe, because I was stupid enough to even agree to talk to you again. I probably wouldn't have done that if I would've really never wanted to see your stupid face again."  
Ollie grabbed the bottle from the table. "Do you mind if I...?" Malcolm shook his head, so he refilled his glass and downed the contents in one swig. "I know I can't expect anything from you anymore, Malcolm. Not after what happened, but...I for one never stopped thinking about the time we spent together, you know. And I hated myself for being such a coward, but I also couldn't bring myself to try and make things right with you. Until now."  
He reached for the bottle again, but Malcolm grabbed his arm before he could touch it. "Stop that, don't even think of getting drunk in my house. You were always a fucking annoyance when you had a few too many..." Ollie winced and pulled his arm back. He sat in silence for a moment.  
  
"I'm sorry, Malcolm. I'm really sorry...!"  
"Fucking hell, Ollie..." Malcolm sighed and Ollie realized how much he had longed for Malcolm to talk to him again...or rather, to just hear him say his name again.  
"You really think you can come here after two years and we just continue where we left off? Even if you fucked up our relationship? Do you really think it works like that? If so, you really are a big fucking stupid...idiot." Hearing that made Ollie look really downcast until Malcolm continued to speak. "But what does this make me? Well, an even bigger idiot, because I'm just considering doing exactly that..."  
"Malcolm?" Ollie's eyes went wide.  
"No, don't look at me like that. Just...don't, okay?"  
After another moment Ollie leaned forward and put his head into his hands, hiding his face from Malcolm. When he started speaking again, his voice sounded shaky. "If I'm honest, everything was just really fucking horrible after we split up. I felt that everything you said was true, but I just didn't want to admit that to myself. And I regretted what I did on your last day so many times... I didn't even know anyone could feel like that..."  
"Hey mate, stop the pity party, alright? You just got what you signed up for."  
But he quickly regretted his words, because when Ollie raised his head and looked at him Malcolm thought he saw tears in his eyes.  
"Oh fuck, no, please don't tell me you'll actually start crying now."  
"Come on, of course I won't, I'm not a little kid..." He clearly tried to sound firm, but his voice betrayed the truth.  
Malcolm wrapped his arm around Ollie with a sigh and pulled his head to his chest. "Well, whatever..."  
He felt that Ollie clutched to his shirt front and buried his face in it. That's how they stayed for a while, unmoving. After a few moments had passed, Malcolm awkwardly started stroking Ollie's hair. Damn, that really felt odd...but it was also a familiar feeling which made Malcolm remember better times and a slight smile came on his face.  
  
At least his attempts seemed to calm Ollie down. He still made some muffled noises at first - so he probably really had started crying after all, Malcolm though. After a while the sounds stopped, but he still didn't let go. Malcolm gently patted his back.  
"Hey, you still breathing? Wouldn't want you to choke while we're actually having some physical contact for the first time in two years."  
Ollie made a weird noise somewhere between a sob, a snort and a laugh and raised his head. "Damn it, Malcolm, I missed this so much..."  
Well, now it was obvious that he had cried, his eyes were clearly puffy and red. But Malcolm observed that he still looked more like the Ollie he knew from their shared time again - compared to the downcast and sombre version of him who had stood in front of his door half an hour ago.  
"You can probably imagine there wasn't much for me to laugh about recently. But you just...I don't know how you did that, but I think that made me feel better already."  
"You must be the first person who only ever feels better in my presence instead of getting nervous. And I'm really not used to making people laugh. You always were the funny guy among the two of us, huh..."  
"Well, it's not so much that I think you're funny, but it's...I feel like the last two years didn't even happen and things are alright again. Just by being here with you..."  
Malcolm made a face. "Blech, that sounded like straight out of a romance novel. You really must be in a sorry state if you're talking like this."  
Ollie laughed awkwardly. "I am in a sorry state, yeah...but what I said is still entirely true."  
  
Malcolm leaned over and ran his fingers over Ollie's face. "Anyway...I really was right about everything. You look like you're ten years older and the bags under your eyes are gigantic."  
"Hey, I'm still only thirty, you know!" Ollie protested with a flicker of his old self. Back then, when he rarely seemed to take things seriously. Why did that feel like it was ages ago? But as Malcolm's presence really seemed to work wonders and he was already starting to feel more confident again he decided to take a chance and try some more of his former trademark banter.  
"Well, but yeah, I am feeling really tired...it might help if you kissed my eyes, you know..."  
"Hey, it's a bit early to get cocky again, I never said everything would be alright all of a sudden!" Malcolm said in a sober tone, but as a little smile was playing around his mouth Ollie knew he was already feeling much more tender towards him than he did just a short time ago. That reassured Ollie enough to try something else. He adjusted himself on the sofa as he was still in a quite uncomfortable position - his upper body was lying halfway across Malcolm's legs and so Ollie lied down on his back and put his head in Malcolm's lap instead.  
  
He looked up to him and smiled uncertainly. Malcolm sighed. How was he supposed to stay angry with the stupid guy when he was looking so cute?  
"What's on your mind, Malcolm? You're looking really...thoughtful all of a sudden?"  
"I was just thinking about how a certain twat had the gall to help facilitate my downfall and ignore me for two years after that. Now he's looking at me with big fucking puppy-dog eyes and even though I really, really think I should get rid of the stupid ass for good I'm already starting to think about forgiving him."  
Ollie feigned indignation. "Now that's terrible, Malcolm. The guy must be a real twat and really doesn't deserve your mercy."  
"Oh, he is. Really makes you think. I don't remember me being this weak-willed."  
"Well, but...maybe the twat guy has learned something from that experience and has become a better person?"  
That really made Malcolm laugh. "I'd like to see that! I can't even imagine you becoming a good person."  
Ollie hoisted himself up a little and came really close to Malcolm's face.  
"But I would try...for you."  
Later Ollie assumed his eyes must have deceived him. There really couldn't have been even a short moment in which Malcolm looked embarrassed by that comment. No, definitely not Malcolm. But maybe the next thing he did was to hide some embarrassment after all...because he grabbed Ollie's shoulders and kissed him all of a sudden.  
"No more sentimental shit from you, alright? I had enough of that for one day," Malcolm said in a slightly breathless voice after letting Ollie go again.  
  
And there it was. Two years of regret, entirely for nothing and seemingly rendered meaningless in just a few moments. Ollie was lying in Malcolm's lap again, raising one hand to casually touch the older man's face. He couldn't believe all of that just now had really happened. It was weird, but...he almost felt like crying again. Though this time it was due to how happy he was right now. He had come here expecting nothing but to exchange a few words with Malcolm...and now? There still was some hope for their relationship, and if that wasn't a reason for tears of joy, then what was?  
  
After just silently indulging in Malcolm's company for some time, he finally asked him: "So...that is all it took?"  
Malcolm laughed softly. "Apparently so, you big fucking idiot. That's some next level idiocy, feeling like shit for two years because you were too much of a chicken to talk to me just once..."  
"I admit to being really dumb. But, you didn't talk to me either, you know."  
"I wasn't the one who fucked up things, dickhead."  
"Fair point...Malc." Ollie hesitated. "If...if it is alright if I call you that again?"  
He sighed. "Sure is. I mean, it's not like I will ever call you Oliver either. Doesn't fit you anyway."  
"Well, that's my name though... Thinking about it, you rarely ever called me by name anyway. But I know that's how you're showing affection."  
"You're right...you silly little fucker."  
"Ah, just like in the olden days! But...for real, Malc," Ollie sat up again and looked Malcolm in the eye. "Would you really...be alright with us trying again?"  
Malcolm gave the matter some thought before he answered the question.  
"Well, it's...difficult. I'm not one to hold pointless grudges, but you really disappointed me. However, since it's obvious that we still have feelings for each other...yeah, I think I'll give you another chance. Even if you don't really deserve it."  
The look of indescribable relief and joy on Ollie's face almost made Malcolm laugh. His feelings were somewhat obvious. Yeah, good old Ollie was pretty much back, Malcolm thought. And he promptly confirmed that observation with an offhand comment.  
"Just say that you missed me too. I definitely did, as I told you multiple times now."  
Malcolm playfully slapped the back of Ollie's head.  
"I mostly missed our bantering, you little prick."  
"Me too. It's really endearing, being called a twat or a fucker in such a loving way."  
Malcolm chuckled. "I have no idea how I endured for so long without hearing your stupid comments about everything, you know."  
"Oh, you haven't missed much. I didn't really feel like making stupid comments recently anyway."  
  
During their conversation a thought had crossed Malcolm's mind.  
"There still is one issue, though... What about your resignation? That's what you wanted to talk about, after all."  
Ollie sighed thoughtfully. "Ah, I really don't know. I'd like to think everything is gonna be alright now that I know you've got my back. But I fear things won't be that easy."  
"Right, they probably won't. You know, I don't want to talk you into anything, so you have to decide by yourself. But what I told you still stands."  
Ollie picked up the envelope which was still lying on the table and held it in his hands, totally lost in thoughts. Then he put it in his pocket again.  
"You know what? I'll keep this for now. My problems won't go away all of a sudden and I think I might hit the wall yet again, but...right now I feel amazing and I want to make the most of that."  
"Either way it's fine with me. It's not like they're gonna win the next election anyway, no matter if they actually give the post to someone more competent than you or not."  
"So I'm incompetent? Well, thanks Malc - now I'm even more determined to show you!" He laughed. "But still...I'm somewhat glad I thought about quitting the job. Know why?"  
"I could only guess."  
Ollie rested his head on Malcolm's shoulder. "Well...because of that I mustered the courage to come here. And that might just be the best thing I did in my life."  
Malcolm put his arm around him.  
"Yeah...you might just be right about that."


End file.
